I feel better

I heard from B, a student at Columbia that the ETP office set me up with contact info for. He answered some questions and though he was at Cornell's CCU (what I consider to be an infinitely better ICU than the little county hospital I'm at) he felt unready and unsure about patients with other disease processes. That's soemthing I'm quite comfortable with, since I've managed the gammut when it comes to patients. Everything from overdoses, to end stage liver diesase, cancer, cardiac problems, pulmonary problems, diabetics in acute distress...you name it.

He made some suggestions about drugs and dosings, so I'm adding that to my repetoir of study materials, and darnit--I'm so motivated now!

I'm wondering if this whole thing has cost me a friend, or for how long I can pull off the lie when people ask, and say "I'm a nurse" telling only the half truth around her, since I'll be a nurse anesthetist.

B also mentioned his plan was to keep quiet about being an ETP student, and therefore letting everyone know how limited his experience truely is. This sounds like a fine plan, and I think I'm going to adopt it as well.

I've done ok, so far, in that I don't talk much any more at work. Ever since Andrea's psycho-bitch crazy moment of screaming at me that I don't listen. I just do my job and read my books when I can, trying to learn as much as I can.

I feel like I've so much to prove to the world...I'm going to make it thru this program if it kills me.