preparations...

I'm doing things like getting all my doctor's appointments out of the way, and check ups done, etc. I'm also looking for ways to adapt to lving in New York again (if you can call it that!)

I haven't bought a plane ticket yet...the prices are sky high (no pun intended!) and maybe it's approach/avoidance behavior...I dunno. I know too much psych stuff for my own good.

I'm going to have to adapt to walking my ass off again, and the bad food, the horrible weather, the horrible air quality. Grocery delivery--I'm looking at Amazon and Fresh Direct (FD was about 80% of my food source last year) and I'm bracing myself for the sky-high prices of food, and the invonvenience of buyng groceries and carting them home in canvas bags on the fucking subway again. (God, how much that SUCKED)

I was talking to our new Orientee, Cara, who is also trying to get into CRNA (who isn't?) and she was telling me that Sam Merritt's enrollment seems down and that's why they're trying to get everyone to apply...That makes sense.

She was telling me about an interview she went to at one ANES school in Michigan, and how the interview panel was grilling people to the panic/breaking point to see how well they responded to pressure. She said she almost left crying.

Bullshit...why do they do this? Because it's a high-stress job? She said "ah, you're already IN at Columbia, you should GO...it's too hard to get into, don't waste the opportunity." I agree with her.

This year has taught me how to keep my mouth shut, just get thru my day without standing up for every damned thing I believe in, not to stir shit up...in short--it's BROKEN me. Working with women is the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I can't wait to be done with this part of my life and move on to the next.

And I'm sure I'll regret quiting once I arrive in NY and say "Fuck! I had a good paying job and I left it for THIS?!"

I know...I know.
I'm like a cat--on the wrong side of every door. In the long run, it is for the best.